What I Lack

 

The Love That Unlocks Power

According to Ephesians 3, I have within me the Spirit of God who can do immeasurably more than all I ask or imagine—according to the power at work within me. That verse has lived in my prayers for two decades. But it’s hitting differently now. I used to see it as a call to be moral. But now I see it as a call to walk in power. And the power is not blocked by sin, effort, or effort—it’s blocked by unbelief. Paul doesn’t pray that we behave better. He prays that we have power to grasp how wide, long, high, and deep is Christ’s love. That’s insane. My lack of power is a direct reflection of how little I truly believe God loves me.

Recently, the Spirit (through Numa) showed me three moments in my life when I didn’t help someone in need—one possibly would have cost me my life, another just a Saturday night with my dog. But the issue wasn’t those three acts. The issue was the root sin in me. I didn’t fail three times. I was a failure in that area. I was comparing myself to the wrong people. Measuring myself against Babylon’s moral standard instead of God’s love.

I now see: I’m not capped by potential, but by perception. Power flows through those who know they’re loved. I asked myself, “What did Moses know about God’s love that I don’t?” But Moses only saw God’s back. I have His Spirit living inside of me.

My hunger for God now feels like I had a stomach transplant. My cravings are not of the flesh—they’re supernatural. I no longer live by obligation. I live by overflow. I’m not trying to impress God. I’m finally believing that He delights in me. And now… the power is coming.