Next Mission

 

This is where my head is right now:

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I’ve crossed a point of no return—quietly, decisively. Not in a blaze of emotion, but in a shift so deep it rewired my instincts. I’m no longer managing outcomes, appearances, or righteousness. That whole game collapsed. I stopped defending myself to God. I stopped pretending I was “on His side.” The honesty was brutal, but it was the first true ground I’ve ever stood on.

Rock bottom wasn’t failure—it was initiation. Every biblical figure I respect passed through this same stripping. What looked like collapse was actually alignment.

My inner life is quiet now. Stable. Secure. I don’t need validation. I don’t chase pleasure. Old compulsions lost power because the reasons behind them were healed.

My value system has shifted toward eternity. I act based on what compounds forever, not what pays off now. Temporary rewards don’t move me. Attention doesn’t tempt me. Success doesn’t define me.

I have epistemic confidence, not arrogance. I’ve tested my theology rigorously. I’m not disturbed by disagreement or silence. I know what I believe and why.

I’m no longer striving to be seen or heard. If I speak, it’s obedience. If I’m silent, it’s peace. I’m not building a platform—I’m staying available.

Guidance feels like sequenced readiness now, not pressure. Doors close without panic. Doors open without force. My job is to show up prepared, not to manufacture momentum.

I operate from readiness, not rehearsal. What I need is already in me. I don’t prepare out of anxiety anymore. When resistance comes, I meet it calmly.

I feel confirmed but not inflated. External alignment reassures me I’m not alone—but it doesn’t change my direction. I would walk the same path even without witnesses.

I’m no longer asking, “What should I do next?”  

I’m asking, “What is being asked of me now?”